(A Schoolhouse Rock parody)
I’m a Big Beautiful Bill,
Yes, a hand-picked thrill,
And I’m struttin’ here on Capitol Hill.
I was written by the lobbyists, neat and tight,
Packed with pork that they love at night.
Oh but it’s hard, so hard to pass,
Without a threat to your donor class.
So we twist some arms, and call some bluffs,
Promise money or run you off.
“Please don’t primary me next year,
I’d rather keep my cushy career!”
So they vote me through, no time to read,
A thousand pages of special needs.
Slash the safety net, pile on the debt,
Cut your benefits — hedge funds win the bet!
And if you wonder where your tax breaks went,
Just ask the CEO in his yacht-sized tent.
Now I’m off to the President’s pen,
He’ll sign me bigly with a Sharpie again.
And when I’m a law, oh won’t it be grand?
For the billionaires with the biggest hands!
